Wednesday, September 30, 2009

What Stinks on Stage?

WARNING!!

WARNING!!

WARNING!!

This is going to be a transparent posting of something personal. Some people in the church seem to get uptight whenever their pastor gets transparent. If you are that type of person, QUIT READING NOW!!

So last Sunday during our second morning worship service I am preaching and as I am I keep getting a whiff of some really horrible body odor. As I am preaching I am thinking to myself, “Somebody on the front row or two did not put on any deodorant this morning and they really stink!” I mean it was seriously distracting me.

I have to be honest. While I am preaching I am studying the people on the front two rows trying to decide who the culprit might be (I don’t know if there was any type of politically incorrect profiling taking place on my part or not). I had it narrowed down to two or three possibilities and was leaning heavily in one specific direction. The whole time I am thinking to myself, “Gee whiz, mister, how about a shower and some deodorant.” I was thinking that maybe an anonymous gift of some “soap on a rope” might be helpful.

OK, let me say it again…WARNING!!

WARNING!!

WARNING!!

So about halfway through the message I realize that the odorous smell was a little closer to me than I originally thought. That’s when it hit me. Is it possible that this man in serious need of a “soap on a rope” and some Right Guard could actually be me? I proceeded to pretend to use my shoulder to wipe my face just so I could investigate to see. That’s when the evidence became clear in my nostrils.

IT WAS ME!!! I totally forgot to put on my deodorant after I showered that morning. Preaching during the first service got my sweat glands in motion and halfway through the second service I was the one giving off the offensive smell. So as soon as I got done preaching, before the service let out for me to greet people, I ran back to my office where I put on some Speed Stick that I had stashed and soaked the armpits of my shirt with some cologne that was sitting on my desk. Now I was set for the third worship service!

Hmmmm….I wonder if I owe an apology to the man up front that I thought was the guilty one?!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, I was sitting in the front row during 2nd service so I guess I was one of the ones you were investigating.

I can tell you that I couldn't smell it and I have a super sensitive nose so the only one you were offending was yourself. :)

Pastor Scott said...

So glad to hear that, anonymous!

Anonymous said...

...(sniff, sniff)...
Guten tag Herr Scott!
Here in Germany, we have church for you!
Auf Wiedersehen!

Pastor Scott said...

Dear Anonymous from Germany:

Tausend Dank!

Blessings!
Scott

Rick Glass said...

apology accepted.

Pastor Scott said...

Rick...How did you know I thought it was you?

Anonymous said...

Aah Paster Scott.
You always make me laugh and leave me wondering what you will come up with next. Then with all that I learn from your sermons makes you a great paster. By the way still waiting to see picture of you in your Robin hood outfit.

Pastor Scott said...

Thanks, Anonymous! I really appreciate the encouraging words!

Corey said...

Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

I don't know why exactly, but your story made me think of this Scripture passage:

2 Corinthians 2:14-17

14But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. 15For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, 16 to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? 17For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.

Pastor Scott said...

Perfect fit, Corey! Absolutely perfect! Blessings to you and your family!