This is going to be a transparent posting of something personal. Some people in the church seem to get uptight whenever their pastor gets transparent. If you are that type of person, QUIT READING NOW!!
So last Sunday during our second morning worship service I am preaching and as I am I keep getting a whiff of some really horrible body odor. As I am preaching I am thinking to myself, “Somebody on the front row or two did not put on any deodorant this morning and they really stink!” I mean it was seriously distracting me.
I have to be honest. While I am preaching I am studying the people on the front two rows trying to decide who the culprit might be (I don’t know if there was any type of politically incorrect profiling taking place on my part or not). I had it narrowed down to two or three possibilities and was leaning heavily in one specific direction. The whole time I am thinking to myself, “Gee whiz, mister, how about a shower and some deodorant.” I was thinking that maybe an anonymous gift of some “soap on a rope” might be helpful.
OK, let me say it again…WARNING!!
So about halfway through the message I realize that the odorous smell was a little closer to me than I originally thought. That’s when it hit me. Is it possible that this man in serious need of a “soap on a rope” and some Right Guard could actually be me? I proceeded to pretend to use my shoulder to wipe my face just so I could investigate to see. That’s when the evidence became clear in my nostrils.
IT WAS ME!!! I totally forgot to put on my deodorant after I showered that morning. Preaching during the first service got my sweat glands in motion and halfway through the second service I was the one giving off the offensive smell. So as soon as I got done preaching, before the service let out for me to greet people, I ran back to my office where I put on some Speed Stick that I had stashed and soaked the armpits of my shirt with some cologne that was sitting on my desk. Now I was set for the third worship service!
Hmmmm….I wonder if I owe an apology to the man up front that I thought was the guilty one?!