Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I'm Sending Out My Resume

That’s it! I have officially had it! I never thought this day would come, but I can simply take it no longer. There’s no talking me out of it! My resume has been updated and by the end of this week, every owner of each and every Major League Baseball team will have received it along with my application to become the new Baseball Commissioner. I’m tired of seeing the sport I love being led in such a haphazard way. My resume will include the following plan that I will put into place my first 100 days in office:

First and foremost, I will end the designated hitter position in the American League. All this has become is a way for “has been” players to continue playing beyond their prime!

Second, I will reinstate Pete Rose so that he can take his rightful position after being unanimously elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. Outside of maybe Tony Gwynn, Pete “Charlie Hustle” Rose may just have been the best pure hitter in my lifetime (Ted Williams was before my time) and no one, I mean no one, played the game harder and with more gusto that Rose did. The Baseball Hall of Fame should be based solely on a player’s performance on the field, not on his “off the field” mistakes.

Third, I will rid baseball of all domed stadiums. Baseball was made to be played outside…that is part of the game (I feel the same way abut the National Football League).

Fourth, I will pull in the reins of the home plate umpires today who throw out warnings to both dugouts anytime a pitcher even glares at a batter. I would restore the day when “Bean Balls” and “Brush Back Pitches” were a strategic part of the game. And after I succeeded in accomplishing my first promise of ridding the American League of the horrid designated hitter rule, all pitchers in the Majors would have to step into the batter’s box, which makes it all the more interesting if he threw too far inside the inning prior.

Fifth, I will extend Spring Training two additional weeks to be sure that players are ready for the start of the season which would limit needless injuries greatly.

Sixth, I will design the schedule so that the first two weeks of the season would only be played in warm weather locations so that no more games would get “snowed out” in Cleveland and Chicago while stadiums sit empty in Texas and Southern California.

Seventh, I will drop the ridiculous “luxury tax” option and force the New York Yankees to limit their payroll to the same salary caps that every other team abides by.

Eighth, I will halt any further expansion. There already isn’t enough good pitchers to go around and from the looks of the season our hometown Barnstormers are having, there doesn’t seem to be much hope in the Minors that things will change anytime soon.

Ninth, I will move the Baseball Commissioner’s office to Lititz, PA so I can still preach!

No comments: