I'm breaking the door down

Every preacher has them. They’re awful. I’m speaking of nightmares. I’m not talking about those that include ghosts and goblins. These are far worse. This is the horrible dream that you have forgotten or somehow have been delayed and missed a wedding or funeral which you were officiating. It happened to a pastor friend of mine. He was making a hospital visit on the far other side of town when a man from his church called him on his cell asking where he was at. This man was calling from the funeral home where it was 15 minutes after his dad’s funeral was to begin and this pastor was supposed to be the officiating pastor. He had completely spaced it out. What a nightmare!

It almost happened to me recently as I was scheduled to officiate a wedding. Laura, who was coordinating the wedding, had long since left. I was running behind and had just enough time to shower, dress and make it to the church on time. I jumped in and out of the shower and had everything on except my tie. I quickly walked down the hallway to the guest room where my ties are kept in the closet. To my dismay and even anger, I discovered that the door was locked. Someone had recently gone into the room for something and accidentally (and may I add, carelessly) locked it on their way out.

I was furious. I began banging vehemently on the door hoping it would magically pop open. I pounded and yelled in anger. I finally realized that my only hope of getting my tie and still making it to the wedding on time was to break the door down. I stepped back and prepared to give the door to our guest room my best “kung-fu” style kick. Just as I went to lift my leg to cause major damage to the door (and probably to my foot as well), my daughter, who had heard all of the commotion, came running up the steps.

“Dad, what in the world is wrong?” she inquired.

I sternly replied, “Someone locked the door and I can’t get my tie and I’m going to be late to this wedding so step back because I’m going to break the door down!”

To that my daughter, with an “I can’t believe you are that ignorant” look on her face said, “Just calm down, dad. I’ll open the door.”

My 16-year old daughter proceeded to unwind a paperclip and stick it through a small hole in the middle of the doorknob and in less then two seconds popped the lock open.

“How’d you know to do that?” I asked.

“That door gets locked accidentally all the time,” she said. “This is how we always get it open.” Come to find out, I was the only one in my family who didn’t know that!

Luckily for the door and my foot, my daughter knows more about maintenance than I do. And luckily for me, I had just enough time to put on my tie and make it to the wedding.