C-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e

Communication is by far and away one of the most important elements of any relationship. Whether it is with a spouse, a child, a parent, a neighbor, a co-worker, or a fellow church-goer, for any relationship to grow, communication must be a priority.

There are really two major keys when it comes to communication. First, we must be sure to keep all lines of communication open. This includes keeping the lines of communication open in between each individual in a relationship as well as each individual keeping their lines of communication open with God. Whenever one or more of these communication lines gets shut down, problems increase in severity. When we stop talking to God, things go wrong. When we quit communicating with each other, things go south as well. Keep all of these lines open and there is truly no problem that cannot be worked through.

The second key is understanding the three components of communication. First, there is our content, or are words. Speechologists tell us that this is really just 7% of our total communication. It is true that our actions really do speak much more loudly than our words. Second, is our tone which is 38% of our communication, followed by our non-verbal actions which communicates the most. 55% of all of our communication is non-verbal. For effective communication to take place, we must be sure that our words, our tone, and our non-verbal actions are all saying the same thing. The same is true in listening. To be an effective listener we must listen to the other person’s words, tone and pay attention to their non-verbal cues.

Experts tell is that there are 5 levels of communication. Every relationship you have is on one of these 5 levels. As we spend today and tomorrow examining these levels, why not evaluate what level you are on when it comes to your marriage; When it comes to your kids; When it comes to your parents; When it comes to your friends; When it comes to your co-workers; and when it comes to those whom you attend church with. Let me overview them briefly:

Level 1: CLICHÉ CONVERSATION! This is the lowest level of communication. In level one there is no personal sharing that takes place. Each person remains behind their own safe defenses. This is where we simply communicate that which is culturally acceptable. “Hi! How are you? Nice weather, huh? Did you see the game last night?” My guess would be that the majority of communication that takes place at church on a Sunday morning is basic level one talk. Most conversation that takes place between parents and teenagers is simply level one communication. Unfortunately, many marriages today, even among Christians, are stuck in a level one rut. The husband comes home from work and asks how his wife is and when dinner will be ready and that is the extent of their conversation for the remainder of the evening.
Tomorrow we will look at the other 4 levels of communication…that of Reporting the Facts; that of sharing my ideas and judgments; that of sharing my feelings and emotions; and that of complete and total openness and honesty.