Thursday, May 10, 2007


In Willard Harley’s book, His Needs Her Needs, the author identifies 5 needs of most every wife. When a husband knows these needs, and even more importantly, knows how to meet these needs in his wife, he goes along way to affair-proofing their marriage. Here we go husbands. Here are the 5 basic needs that your wife has.

The first thing your wife can’t do without…AFFECTION

Gentlemen, please understand. Affection is not sex. It can lead to sex but it is not sex. Affection is the way a husband communicates care and protection. Affection occurs when the husband helps cook dinner, empties the dishwasher, gives back rubs and foot rubs without expecting anything in return. Affection is when a husband calls home during the day just to say “hi” or leaves a not reminding his wife how much he loves her. For your wife, there can never be enough affection.

She needs you to talk to her…CONVERSATION

This is conversation that focuses on your wife and how her day went, not conversation that centers around you and your day at the office. Harley recommends that married couples ought to set aside 15 hours a week just for the purpose of communicating. If you doubt that this is important, go back and read yesterday’s blog entry one more time.

She needs to be able to trust you totally…OPENNESS and HONESTY

The need to trust goes hand-in-hand with the need to talk. Lack of conversation will quickly undermine trust and destroy a wife’s security and your wife needs to feel secure. Harley states that honesty is the best marriage insurance policy. The worst thing that you can do to damage your marriage considerably is tell your wife a lie, even if you are trying to protect her. False security is no real security at all.

She needs to live comfortable…FINANCIAL SUPPORT

Happy is the couple who lives on what they need, not what they want. For this to happen, a workable budget and good stewardship and tithing practices are essential. I remember hearing Jerry Falwell say one time that many newly married couples make the mistake of trying to begin with what it took their parents 40 years to acquire.

She needs him to be a good father…FAMILY COMMITMENT

A wife needs a strong family unit. A mother needs family commitment. The truth is that in most cases, the best husband is a good father. Ask any mom and she will confirm that truth. The same is true in reverse. In the words of Josh McDowell, “the best thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

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