Marriage - A Two-Headed Monster

In yesterday’s blog post we saw the first purpose of marriage given by God when He instituted marriage back in Genesis 2:24-25.  That purpose was severance – “a man shall leave his father and mother.”  Now let’s look at the second purpose which is permanence.  It says that, “A man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife.”  Now, that word “cleave,” if it were to be used today, could describe taking two pieces of steel and soldering them together to make one permanent piece.  That's God's purpose for marriage – permanence – and that purpose has not changed.  God's purpose for marriage always has been, still is, and always will be one man with one woman for one lifetime. 

What’s has changed is our culture.  Over half of marriages today in our country fail.  Over 75% of second marriages fail.  That's the culture we live in today.  So let me just say this.  When I talk to a young couple who's getting ready to marry for the first time, here's what I say to them - If you're entering into this marriage with any other thinking other than this, divorce will never be an option, then don't get married. 

Folks, listen.  Here's the key.  Whether you're married; whether it's your second marriage, third marriage, or fourth marriage; whether you're newly married or have been married for decades; whether your single but desire someday to be married; or whether you can simply say the word “marriage” - if any of those descriptions are true of you, let me just say this - Your marriage is worth fighting for.  Yes, there will be trials.  Yes there will be times of diversity.  Even so, it is God's plan, God's purpose, for you to fight for that marriage. 

We have seen the purpose of severance and the purpose of permanence.  Now let’s look at the third purpose - interdependence.   The verse says, “And they shall become one flesh.”  What's that mean?  To put it in modern-day vernacular, even though it is a horrible analogy for marriage, it means that the moment you say "I do" you become a two-headed monster. 

Think of the progression.  From the time you were born, you were in a state of total dependence.  You couldn't do anything for yourself.  You were totally dependent on your parents.  As you grew up, your parents wisely moved you from dependence to independence.  If they were wise, they did it a little at a time - not all at once.  When you became a single adult you then moved to a state of total independence.  

How does this relate to marriage?  Folks, listen, marriage isn't dependence or independence.  Marriage is interdependence.  When you get married, it's no longer, “What do I want?”  It's now, “What do we want?”  It's no longer, “What are my dreams?”  It's now, “What are our dreams?”  I really believe that the best part of being married is that you get to do life together.  The purpose of marriage is that you have that companion that God created you with a need for, so that you can do life together.  We’ve now seen severance, permanence and interdependence – we still have one more purpose of marriage to look at in tomorrow’s post.