If CHURCH Were Like HOCKEY

Last week I attended my very first NHL (National Hockey League) game live and in person. I have been to multiple minor league games, including the Hershey Bears, but never an NHL game. We sat just 7 rows back right behind the glass in the corner of the rink. The Philadelphia Flyers played the Toronto Maple Leafs. My mind is somewhat warped so while I was there I couldn't help but to make some observations regarding what church might be like if only hockey fans attended. Now I can tell you this after my first NHL experience live and in person – hockey fans are, well, let’s just say, “very unique.” So what would Grace Church be like if only hockey fans filled the auditorium for each service each weekend?

First, our services would always be packed. I was amazed at how jam packed the arena was for this game between Philly and Toronto. I mean it was packed – virtually sold out. Why was that amazing? It was amazing because both teams were in dead last in the standings in their respective divisions. This was a battle of two last place teams – hardly a big draw. Two last place teams square off in any other sport and the place would have all kinds of empty seats. Not hockey fans. I concluded this – they really aren’t die-hard Flyer fans as much as they are die-hard hockey fans. It didn’t matter what place the Flyers were in or who they were facing off against, it was hockey and that was good enough to go out in the brutal cold winter weather of January and sit around an ice rink. So if hockey fans were the only ones who came to church I think all the services would be packed every weekend. It wouldn’t matter who was preaching; it wouldn’t matter what the theme was; it wouldn’t matter what style of music was being played; it wouldn’t matter what the weather was like or how crowded the parking lot was, they’d be there. Why? Simple – because it’s church and that would be enough for them to get out of bed and come in on a cold, wintry January Sunday.

I also decided that the services would be far more participatory if only hockey fans filled the auditorium. I had such a great time watching one guy who sat right behind the goalie net. He had about 100 different signs (I’m not exaggerating) and at every stop in the action he would hold one of the signs up for the opposing team’s goalie to see and read. After a great fight, he held up a sign that said, “Old Fashioned Hockey.” When it was evident that Toronto was going to lose, he held up a sign saying, “Start the bus!” Whenever the Flyers were on a power play he would hold a sign up so the goalie could see it that said, “You’re going to choke!” But my favorite was after the Flyers scored their 6th goal of the night on him and the man held up a sign for this Canadian goalie to see that said, “Some fun, eh?” So based on that, I have a feeling that if only hockey fans came to Grace Church the services would be far more participatory.

The final thing I observed was that if only hockey fans came to church, we would not serve beer at Business Meetings (not that we do now or anything). There was a group of Toronto fans right above us who were very obnoxious – not necessarily out of line that I could see, but definitely obnoxious. By the 3rd period, when the many Philly fans had become fully sloshed, there were as many altercations in the stands as there was on the ice. So, if only hockey fans came to Grace the rule would definitely be no beer at business meetings. Best of all, if church were like hockey, the ushers would drive a Zamboni down the aisle to take up the offering. Cool!