If The Barn Needs Painted

It happens on a regular basis. A wife comes into my office with the sad story of what a rotten husband she has. My heart goes out to women in this scenario. They deserve better. So what is a wife to do when her husband turns out to be a jerk? Peter addresses just this issue in 1 Peter 3:1-6. He begins by commanding the wife to be submissive to her own husband. But this role is not conditional on the husband’s behavior. A wife is to fulfill her role even if the husband is being disobedient to the Word. “Disobedient” is the idea of obstinately refusing to be persuaded. According to Peter, it is the wife being faithful in fulfilling her role that God wants to use to win the husband back to obedience. When a wife chooses to not fulfill her role when her husband is being disobedient, she takes out of the hand of God the very tool He wants to use to win over her husband.

Now notice that Peter says that this is to be done “without a word.” God using the submissive wife to win over her husband does not happen verbally by the wife preaching or nagging. It happens by the actions of the wife, her chaste and respectful behavior

Peter than makes a direct connection between a submissive wife and a beautiful wife. He begins by talking about the insufficiency of outward beauty. This is not prohibiting outward beauty. Outward beauty plays a role but it is not the only role. At the risk of sounding like a male chauvinist pig, I think it is important for a wife to look good for her husband. One of my biggest pet peeves is a Christian wife who gets all decked out to go get groceries in front of a bunch of strangers but could care less what she looks like when her husband comes home from work. Isn’t that backwards? Who cares how the grocer sees you…look good for your man! When Peter says that beauty is not merely braiding of the hair and wearing gold jewelry, he was not saying that you should not do your hair, wear jewelry or put on make-up. Hey, if the barn needs painted…PAINT IT!

This passage isn’t prohibiting outward beauty it is prioritizing it. Inward beauty is more important than outward beauty. In other words, a wife should put far more time into developing her inward beauty then she ever does her outward beauty. The truth is that at some point in your life you reach your apex when it comes to outward beauty. After that, I’m afraid it’s all downhill. I can prove it. When was the last time you saw an elderly grandma win the Miss American Pageant? However, inward beauty can grow the rest of your life on earth. Though I have never seen a grandma crowned Miss America, some of the most beautiful women I have ever met have been elderly grandmas. And ladies, there is only one way to improve inward beauty. It’s by spending time alone with God.

According to Peter, the way holy women back in the Old Testament days made themselves beautiful was by being submissive to their husbands. Show me a wife who is submissive to her husband and I will show you a beautiful women no matter what she looks like. Peter uses Sarah, the wife of Abraham, as an example. You are like her if you do the same without fear. Ladies, the world today will try to make you fear being submissive to your husbands. Don’t fall for it. A submissive wife is a beautiful wife.