Yours Anonymously

Our staff here at Grace Church appreciates constructive criticism that is given from a proper heart and in the proper way. We desire feedback and we take all such comments seriously. But what is the “proper way” to communicate something negative or a concern about an area within our ministry?

The least effective way that anyone can ever communicate a negative or a concern is to do so in writing. Why? Because it is impossible for others to really understand your thoughts because they can’t hear your tone nor can they see your heart through your nonverbal communication. Written correspondence always runs the risk of being taken wrong. As a result, I would encourage you to think twice before ever jotting down any negative comments or concerns on notes or even on the Sunday morning response cards. For example, if you think the music is too loud or you don't like the looks of something in the church, written notes are the least effective way to communicate these concerns.

Every once in a while we receive a note containing a negative comment about an area of ministry within our church which is turned in anonymously. What makes this an improper as well as an ineffective way of communicating a concern or a negative? First, to do so is to communicate a concern in an unbiblical manner. According to Matthew 18, if someone offends us we are to go to them. There is no room in those instructions for anonymous notes of a negative nature. This is true even if the note is cloaked in the spiritual looking signature, “a concerned brother” or “a concerned sister in Christ.”

Second, when notes and letters are turned in anonymously it is impossible to be able to make a contact with the writer to have an honest dialogue about the concern. As a result, it is our practice here at Grace Church to disregard all such notes and letters. Once we ascertain that a note or letter is of a negative nature and is anonymous, we immediately quit reading it and dispose of it without passing it on to any other staff member and without taking any of its information into consideration.

And of course, it is never appropriate to discuss your concerns with others who attend our church or with staff members that are not over the area of ministry in which you have the concern when you have never gone to the person in charge of that area of ministry. We must be careful that we don’t mask gossip in spiritual sounding motives. Honest feedback and constructive criticism is valuable but it always needs to be done properly so that division does not occur in the church.

If you ever have a concern about an area of our ministry here at Grace Church, I would ask that you call the staff member over that area and set up a time to talk with them about your concern. Please do not bring that concern directly to me unless you have first gone to the staff member over that area and talked to them in person, not just through written correspondence. This is not only the Biblical way to handle these situations but it is far more effective than a comment written on a note or on one of our Sunday morning response cards, especially if it is turned in anonymously.