Becoming a great lover . . . Part 1

There are 4 main words in the Greek language for love. The first is “phileo” which means to have a tender affection. Second, is the word “philanthropia” which is a compound word putting together the word “phileo” with the word “anthropos” (man). This word speaks of a love for mankind. The third word is the word “eros” which describes sexual intimacy. This word is not found in the New Testament, though its pages do have much to say on the topic of sex. The final word is the word “agape” which is a self-sacrificial love that is always ready to serve. This is the rarest word for love in ancient Greek literature but the most common word used for love in the New Testament. It is the word that describes God’s love for us (John 3:16; 13:1; and First John 4:8-11).

This is the word used in First Corinthians 13, known as the great love chapter and read at weddings. However, the context of this passage goes deeper. The primary context of First Corinthians 13 is really spiritual gifts, discussed in chapters 12-14. The main teaching being that love is not necessarily greater than the gifts but it is the only way to make the usage of these gifts effective (First Corinthians 12:31). In verse one we find that love is greater than eloquent speech. In verse 2 we find that love is greater than enormous service. And in verse three we see that love is greater than extreme sacrifice.

Beginning in verse 4, Paul gives us 16 characteristics of real Biblical love. The common denominator of each of these is that they are actions, not feelings. Love isn’t a feeling. Love is a choice I make even when I do not feel like it. I often have couples who will say to me, “We are getting a divorce because we have fallen out of love.” My friend, you don’t “fall out” of love. The real problem is that you have chosen to quit loving. Take a look at the definitions of the 16 characteristics of love. Ask yourself these questions,

• When it comes to choosing to show Biblical love to my spouse, how am I doing?
• When it comes to choosing to show Biblical love to my children, how am I doing?
• When it comes to choosing to show Biblical love to my parents, how am I doing?
• When it comes to choosing to show Biblical love to my church, how am I doing?
• When it comes to choosing to show Biblical love to my co-workers, how am I doing?
• When it comes to choosing to show Biblical love to my neighbors, how am I doing?
• When it comes to choosing to show Biblical love to strangers, how am I doing”

Love is Patient (v4). This is a Greek word meaning “long-tempered.” In the New Testament it is almost always a reference to being patient with people as opposed to circumstances. It describes a person who is wronged and has the power to retaliate but chooses not to. This was in direct contrast with the Roman view of seeing vengeance as a virtue and non-retaliation as a weakness. Jesus taught this same thing (Matthew 5:39) as did Paul (Romans 12:17). In the New Testament, Stephen exemplified this (Acts 7:50). In the Old Testament, Joseph exemplified this (Genesis 45:1-11). Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus, exemplified this (Matthew 1:18-19). God Himself exemplifies this (Second Peter 3:9). Do you exemplify this?